Baseball Moms  − 18 May, 2007

Everyone is familiar with the term "soccer mom". Sure she is in her mid 30s to late 40s, has a couple of kids who play soccer and are involved in other extracurricular activities, and of course drives a mini-van.

Well the "soccer mom" is the term of the past and let me introduce you to the new group of moms, who also are the moms of the new millennium and even better known as the "baseball moms".

Soccer got replaced by baseball and as much as kids love it, "baseball moms" love it even more. Here is a list of must-haves that each "baseball mom" possesses:

1. Cute and sexy (in the eyes of men other than her husband or significant other). Single mom can be a "baseball mom" and in either case be prepared to be referred to as a "MILF"
   
2. Has a wardrobe and shoe collection that most women would die for and if she doesn't have one YET other "baseball moms" will put her onto the game
3. Loves her kids more than anything or anyone but can occasionally in conversations with other "baseball moms" refer to them as "rugrats" or "brats" which often follows by a line of complaints with occasional cursing (i.e. picking up "rugrats" from the principle's office or school having her work phone number on speed-dial).
   
4. Is responsible, hard-working and committed to her kids, job, husband, etc
5. Loves to party! PARTY! Drink and be involved in other adult activities at post baseball events (i.e. bbqs, pizza nights, etc)
6. Can handle a hangover like a pro. She must be able to come to an 8:30am game and act as if the wild post-baseball party the night before didn't happen (this is a bit harder if the "baseball mom" is on the other spectrum of 30).
7. Has a sense of humor and can let loose and laugh her ass off at a more than occasional dirty joke.
8. Knows how to cook or at the very least buys good snacks for the kids. If she fails to bring good sugary and fattening snacks (i.e. cookies, candy, etc) she will forever be hated by the team members and referred to as the "Lady with gross snacks! Yuck!" or even worse in conversation with her kid "yo momma brought those nasty snacks!" which can be followed by a number of other "yo momma" jokes.
   
9. Drives a late model sedan or an SUV and doesn't ever even think about using "baby on board" sticker.
10. Is a good, cool, hip mom that the old "soccer mom" never was

Comments:

Previous story  |  Next story