shawna ann's Dandelife : The story of shawna's life

The grossest and most AWESOME thing I've ever read.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

The Auto-Icon At the end of the South Cloisters of the main building of UCL stands a wooden cabinet, which has been a source of curiosity and perplexity to visitors. The cabinet contains Bentham's preserved skeleton, dressed in his own clothes, and surmounted by a wax head. Bentham requested that his body be preserved in this way in his will made shortly before his death on 6 June 1832. The cabinet was moved to UCL in 1850. Not surprisingly, this peculiar relic has given rise to numerous legends and anecdotes. One of the most commonly recounted is that the Auto-Icon regularly attends meetings of the College Council, and that it is solemnly wheeled into the Council Room to take its place among the present-day members. Its presence, it is claimed, is always recorded in the minutes with the words Jeremy Bentham - present but not voting. Another version of the story asserts that the Auto-Icon does vote, but only on occasions when the votes of the other Council members are equally split. In these cases the Auto-Icon invariably votes for the motion. Bentham had originally intended that his head should be part of the Auto-Icon, and for ten years before his death (so runs another story) carried around in his pocket the glass eyes which were to adorn it. Unfortunately when the time came to preserve it for posterity, the process went disastrously wrong, robbing the head of most of its facial expression, and leaving it decidedly unattractive. The wax head was therefore substituted, and for some years the real head, with its glass eyes, reposed on the floor of the Auto-Icon, between Bentham's legs. However, it proved an irresistible target for students, especially from King's College London, who stole the head in 1975 and demanded a ransome of £100 to be paid to the charity Shelter. UCL finally agreed to pay a ransome of £10 and the head was returned. On another occasion, according to legend, the head, again stolen by students, was eventually found in a luggage locker at a Scottish Station (possibly Aberdeen). The last straw (so runs yet another story) came when it was discovered in the front quadrangle being used for football practice, and the head was henceforth placed in secure storage. Many people have speculated as to exactly why Bentham chose to have his body preserved in this way, with explanations ranging from a practical joke at the expense of posterity to a sense of overweening self-importance. Perhaps the Auto-Icon may be more plausibly regarded as an attempt to question religious sensibilities about life and death. Yet whatever Bentham's true motives, the Auto-Icon will always be a source of fascination and debate, and will serve as a perpetual reminder of the man whose ideals inspired the institution in which it stands.

Get Fuzzy from 07/22/2007.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

Parents: Blessing or Curse?

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

So, yesterday my parents informed me that a neighbor knew of a job opening at the company that she works at, a technologies business in Bend. My dad was very excited, and she told her boss about me. Today my mom wakes me up to say that the boss was very excited, too, and I basically have the job but just wants to see a resume. Okay. How can I possibly be on the verge of getting a job I know nothing about and I haven't pursued? Good grief. I know my parents are just trying to be helpful, but come on. I should at least know what the position is they've applied me for. And technologies??? Honestly, that's not really my cup of tea. Ahh... I'm just complaining. They pay pretty well starting out so I could be thankful for that, and I guess I could always quit when I find a more interesting job. I AM tired of being a bum. Yep, so, rant complete. Let's see what happens when I hear back from them.

Quesadillas made with cheese and a rock band who are Japanese.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

I love Ben Lee! I've said it before, and you can be damn sure I'll say it again. His music makes my heart sing along with him, and for that I am grateful. Today is this glorious rock star's 29th birthday, and he had this to say in his blog. Well today was my birthday. 29. Wow. Whenever I am in India and its someone's birthday I've loved that the local custom is to give AWAY gifts on your birthday. Generally, you give candies or chocolates to your friends and family. Its a beautiful tradition and one that stands in stark contrast to the way we generally celebrate in the West. So today I celebrated by heading to a food shelter in downtown LA to feed the homeless. It was a beautiful way to party. How could you not love a man who gives so much to others as a way of celebrating his birthday (and his life)? He's an inspiration, that's for sure. I also had the pleasure of listening to his newest album, Ripe, for the first time today, and I've got to say it's awesome. Thanks to Sara for sending me an early copy! There is a lot of toe-tapping goodness in the album, including "Home," "American Television," and "Sex Without Love." Then there are tracks like "Ripe" that makes me want to take advantage of what the world has to offer. P.S. Melissa will remember hearing "Sex Without Love" with me at the Ben Lee concert back in November 2006. He sang it with Rooney, and I can't tell you how the audience ate up the fun fun fun. I found a recording from that tour of "Sex Without Love" taken one week before the concert I went to. :) Watch it here. Anyway, I just want thank Ben Lee for making my day and my life brighter for him being in it. Happy birthday.

Island Fever

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

Well, it is on my 43things list.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

How to Be Like Amelie Poulain

A little LaPine House nostalgia.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

A brief history in photographs.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

Once upon a time there was a girl of 17. Her name was Mary. She had rosy cheeks and a hot temper. It's believed that she once stuffed several kittens down an outhouse toilet and stabbed a schoolmate's hand with a pencil. This woman is my grandmother.

Mary met a handsome man of nineteen named Harold. They quickly fell in love and married after knowing each other for only a few weeks. As is often true, their parents didn't approve of such a hasty marriage, but my grandparents were rebels. They didn't give a damn.

Soon after the wedding, Harold was called to duty. It was World War II, and he know that he had to serve or else run away to Canada. He chose serving, and Mary waited for him in the states. While over in Germany, Harold shot a Nazi. And Harold was shot in the stomach. War hurts like the dickens.

Harold returned eager to finally begin his life with his new bride. When they weren't working hard to earn money to start a family, Harold and Mary liked to pretend they were the Joads and pose for photographs.

Shenanigans aside (or actually included), they conceived and gave birth to a daughter named Sandy. Harold liked to call her Sand Socks, as she always managed to get sand in her, you know... socks. This is my mother.

Sandy soon developed a fondness her chihuahua, ChaCha, and Chinese food. But not bicycling. She never learned to ride a bike. Sad, I know, but true nonetheless.

Womanhood fast approached, and Sandy, Harold, and Mary grew as a very close family. They founded Helena, Montana's original "Spectacles are Spectacular!" club. Mary was president, of course.

Making good use of her spectacular spectacles, Sandy poured over books for hours and hours. Her favorites were Harlequin romance novels. As you can see, she was a bit of a nerd and was given swirlies from schoolmates on a regular basis.

Sandy and her parents soon met a dashing man named Clifford. His sister, Hummy, lived above them in their apartment complex, so he became good friends with this other family. Often the gang would share potlucks and play pinochle until dawn. They were a rowdy bunch.

One would expect that romance would bloom between young Clifford and Sandy, but alas, this was not so. He was seven years her senior, and she was much too shy to approach him. They parted ways as friends.

Meanwhile, Harold hurt his nose, and he looked very funny.

Harold's nose got better, and he hung out with Clifford's brother Ken, sister-in-law Suzy, new niece Jennifer, and Clifford himself.

Years earlier, Ken (second from left) was imprisoned for his involvement in an illegal moonshining venture. Nobody is allowed to talk about these dark times. The Navy was very angry.

Clifford was also in the military, but he had joined the army. Kenneth often mocked Clifford, because he obviously had the cooler uniform. Clifford soon forgot about young Sandy, and he married and divorced two or three women.

Sandy married friend Larry, converted to Judaism, and got herself knocked-up with Heather. Sandy liked to visit the lake during this time and wear her maternity bathing suit. She was very excited about it, as it was the last one the store had in stock.

A bridal shower was held in Sandy's honor, and her stupid, single friends ruined the party by attacking large plastic dolls. It was very creepy.

Maternal instinct taking over, Sandy protected the dolls as she would her own child and kicked her friends out onto the street. Yada yada yada, Heather was born, Larry died, Sandy married Clifford, and Shawna was born.

(I'm too lazy to upload all these other photos.)

To make a long story short(er), Heather and Shawna became awesome, as are their three older cousins, Jennifer (pictured earlier), Tonya, and Kasena.

The end.

Mars versus Venus.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

Hahahaha... Oh Mo Rocca, your bionic BRAIN makes me smile. :)

One thing to say about tonight.

shawna ann — Thu Jan 31 05:56:37 UTC 2008

The Emmy's suck monkey vomit. The Office rules and so do the cast members. So there. P.S. It was cute when Steve Carell jumped around on stage with Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart. Agreed?